


all your dreams are on their way, see how they shine

by charleia



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:27:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleia/pseuds/charleia
Summary: Mildred supports Gwendolyn through the difficult aspects of her illnessCW// illness, cancer
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 25
Kudos: 238





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> angsty bc this is a charleia work

“Now, you listen to me,” 

Mildred’s voice wavered, but she persevered. “I’ve done some research,” she continued, “I’ve heard about some brilliant doctor’s who are having the most extraordinary results, putting terminally ill cancer patients in remission.”

Smiling morosely, Gwendolyn shook her head, leaning back in the chair. In her eyes, all hope had already been lost but Mildred— Mildred was still so full of hope. The way her eyes shimmered, the way her voice had picked up a confident undertone, confident that this could truly be her salvation. Gwendolyn knew better. 

“They’re in Mexico,” Mildred continued as she sat up a little, she forced herself to smile, but tears streamed down her cheeks, deep down she knew that the chances of succeeding were slim, but she wasn’t ready to admit that to herself just yet. “We can cure you Gwendolyn “Both of us will be getting on with our lives,  _ together _ .”

“Oh, Mildred…” Gwendolyn’s heart wavered as she looked down to Mildred and in that moment, though she had accepted her fate weeks ago, she couldn’t possibly crush her dream and so, she smiled. “Mildred…” she said softly as she ran a hand through the auburn locks, “That does sound like heaven, doesn’t it?” And it’s the smile that Mildred gives her, the look of foolish hope but unbridled love and adoration that made her heart skip a beat. Delicate hands cupped Mildred’s face, tugging her up and kissing her ever so softly. 

Sighing into the kiss, Mildred stood up from the floor and crawled into Gwendolyn’s lap. “I love you,” she muttered softly, fingers brushing over her cheeks in a gentle caress. “We’ll get through this. Together.” She ran a hand through Gwendolyn’s hair, tugging along the loose strands. Mildred exhaled sharply. “Oh, my dear.”

Gwendolyn just shrugged, “We knew this would happen,” she whispered. 

“We could cut it short? Maybe the transition will be less big.”

Sighing, Gwendolyn nodded. “Alright, then.”

  
  


Carefully and meticulously, Mildred let the hair slide through her fingers before snipping it off. “I’ll be alright, you will look beautiful,” she said as she measured the locks. 

“I don’t doubt that.” Gwendolyn smiled softly, winking at Mildred through the reflection of the mirror. 

“Almost done.”

Gwendolyn sighed at the reflection. “What if we just shaved it all off right now and be done with it?” 

“If that is what you wish, my dear, that is what we’ll do.”

And so, with a razor, Mildred carefully shaved the last strands of hair off Gwendolyn’s head. Mildred’s heart shattered into a million pieces as she caught notice of the tears shimmering in Gwendolyn’s eyes. She rested her hands onto her shoulders, giving a reassuring squeeze. “You stay right here.” She wandered over to the closet, sinking to her knees as she dug through the various scarfs until she found a gorgeous deep purple one with pearly beads. “Honey?” Mildred padded over to Gwendolyn, who looked up, quickly dashed her tears away.

“Yes, darling?” Gwendolyn feigned a smile.

Mildred held up the scarf, “Let’s try something out,” she said as she wrapped the scarf around her head, neatly tying it up with a little knot. “See? Beautiful.”

Gwendolyn smiled, “Oh, Mildred,” she said, “Mildred, Mildred, Mildred, you are a special woman,” she said, she laughed through her tears, but her lip trembled and, catching Mildred by surprise, the laughter soon turned into sobs. Loud, heartbreaking, inconsolable sobs.

“Hey…” Mildred said, “It’s okay, we’re okay,” she sat down onto Gwendolyn’s lap and wrapped her arms around her. “I love you so much, we’ll be okay, we will get through this.”

Shoulders heaved, arms wound around Mildred’s waist so tightly that she could hardly breathe and for the first time since getting the diagnosis, Gwendolyn allowed herself to cry, to really let all of her feelings out. It was as if a dam broke and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. And Mildred, so sweet, so patient, held her through the entire ordeal, rocking her gently, murmuring sweet reassuring words in her ear and caressing her cheeks as she wiped away the tears. “I love you so much, my dear.”

Gwendolyn sniffled and took a deep breath, touching her head to Mildred’s. “Thank you, my darling,” she said softly, voice unsteady. “Purple does look good on me, doesn’t it?” she said, laughed through her tears.

And in spite of the situation, Mildred found herself laughing along. “You do, you look utterly beautiful.”

Leaning in, Gwendolyn pressed her lips to Mildred’s, gentle but oh so passionate. Mildred didn’t need any words for Gwendolyn to convey the message. She needed this, she needed the distraction, she needed to just live in the moment for a while, not thinking about chemo or cancer or the plethora of pills she was made to take every single day. For a moment, she just needed to  _ be _ . Carefully, she stood up, gently tugging Mildred along with her, blindly walking her to their bed.

Mildred lay down, settling beneath Gwendolyn. Her hands framed her face, fingers brushing over her cheeks and lips. Deep brown eyes looked up, finding Gwendolyn’s bright sapphire ones and for a moment, she just held her gaze. Her heart fluttered with the look Gwendolyn gave her, so full of reverence, so full of admiration and devotion. Mildred smiled, overwhelmed with the feeling of being loved so thoroughly and unconditionally. Gwendolyn had been an angel, Mildred was certain, an angel sent by God himself to guide her way through the darkness, to guide the way back to her authentic self. “I love you.”

Gwendolyn dipped down, “I love you,” she mouthed, before kissing her. Groaning, she parted her lips, teeth tugging on Mildred’s bottom lip, drawing soft sighs form Mildred. Over and over, she kissed her, fiercely and passionately. Her hands wandered down Mildred’s chest, fingers massaging her breast with a teasing touch. She revelled in the way Mildred held her so closely, clinging on to her as if she were the very last lifeline, she revelled in the way Mildred completely surrendered herself to her, that she had tore down just a small piece the thick wall she had built around herself, reserved just for her. 

Mildred gasped softly. She arched into the touch, spreading her knees just a little further, allowing Gwendolyn to settle between them. 

Never once breaking the kiss, Gwendolyn’s hand slipped down, beneath the flowy fabric of Mildred’s frilly nightgown. 

Moaning at the touch, Mildred bucked her hips up, grinding against Gwendolyn’s hand. She wrapped her legs around Gwendolyn’s waist, pulling her impossibly close. “Don’t stop,” she breathed, “ _ Please _ ,”

Gwendolyn smiled sweetly, kissing Mildred’s temple, “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“I want—” Mildred murmured breathlessly as she tried to catch her breath, “I just want you to make love to me.”

Dipping down, Gwendolyn pecked her on the lips, “Okay, my darling,” she whispered as her hand slipped into the waistband of her underwear, fingers sliding through the wetness that had gathered there, slipping inside and pumping at a quick pace. Moving down, she pressed openmouthed kisses to her jaw, her neck, her chest, leaving tiny marks in her wake. “I love you,” she whispered as she slid up again to kiss Mildred, tongue slipping inside as she did. 

Mildred groaned into their kiss, hips knocking against Gwendolyn’s hand at a steady pace. She could feel her climax come neared every second. The tender way Gwendolyn kisses her, the affectionate way in which she makes love to her, it all makes her heart burst with love. 

It’s with Gwendolyn’s name on her lips that she finally comes undone.

  
  


Moonlight shimmered through the cracks of the curtains, softly illuminating the bedroom. Gentle hands brushed over Gwendolyn’s face, touching her lips, caressing her cheeks, running over her jaw. “You are so beautiful,” Mildred murmured, “I love you so much,” 

Gwendolyn smiled, tears shimmering in her eyes again. “Thank you so much for this, my darling. With your eternal optimism, I feel like maybe, we can pull this off. That maybe, I can kick this disease’s ass.”

Mildred smiled softly, pressing a long, lingering kiss to Gwendolyn’s lips. “You can,” she said, “And you will. I am going to make sure of that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some angsty hospital talk bc i couldn’t get them out of my head

Muted sounds coming from the bathroom drifted through the bedroom, drawing Mildred from her slumber. She stretched out, groaning from the stiffness in her body. These hospital beds weren’t necessarily what you’d call comfortable. 

Leaning onto an IV, Gwendolyn stumbled back into the room. “Oh, dear,” she muttered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

It had been the second week that she had to get back to the hospital for her second treatment and Mildred— Mildred would not leave her side now that she was allowed to stay with her again. She smiled softly. “That’s quite alright,” she said as she helped Gwendolyn back into the bed. “You okay?” she asked, taking her hand and kissing its back. “Need me to get a nurse? Some water? A painkiller? Something to eat?”

Gwendolyn sniffled and coughed. “No, my love, I’m alright. I just can’t sleep. I’m feeling nauseated.”

“I’m sorry to hear,” Mildred sat up on the small fold up bed they had placed beside Gwendolyn’s. “I’m awake now, I’ll stay up with you.”

“You don’t need to do that, darling,” Gwendolyn’s voice was small and carried little conviction. Having Mildred to talk to while she couldn’t sleep did seem like a nice thing, though she felt bad for depriving her from some much needed sleep. “You’ve been up for two days straight.”

“I don’t mind.” Mildred said, she stood up, wandered around the room. She rested her hand on the thermos on the small table, checking its temperature. “Would you like some tea?”

“Tea would be nice.”

Mildred nodded, pouring them two cups of tea and padding back to Gwendolyn. “Come, scootch, I want to lay beside you.” She put the cups down on the bedside table and climbed into bed. Wrapping her arms around Gwendolyn and pulling her close. “This is nice,” she murmured. “I missed this. It’s cold at night when you’re not there, when I’m home alone and you’re here. I miss your warmth.”

A shadow of a smile appeared on Gwendolyn’s face, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s indeed nice.” she conceded, closing her eyes momentarily, relishing the moment of having her loved one beside her again. She turned her head, kissing Mildred’s forehead, taking in her flowery scent. “I love you,” she whispered softly. “I’m so grateful for you. To have you by my side while I’m fighting all of this.”

“I love you,” Mildred echoed, tilting up her head to pepper kisses all over Gwendolyn’s face until she had begun to laugh. “There it is,” Mildred said, “I love it when you laugh.”

Gwendolyn sighed, “These days my laughs are scarce but you have a knack for getting them to come out,” she said, stifling a yawn.

“I saw that,” Mildred murmured, resting her head to Gwendolyn’s again. “You must try to get some sleep, it’ll help you get stronger for tomorrow.”

“I know.”

Mildred lifted her hand, thumb softly caressing her cheek. “Are you nervous?”

“A little.”

“I’m going to be there. I won’t leave your side, not for one second.”

Sighing softly, Gwendolyn averted her gaze. “What if it’s bad news?”

“It won’t be.”

“But what if it is?”

Mildred shrugged. “Then we’ll try the next best thing. We can always still go to Mexico. I promised I’d find someone to cure you, my love, and I intend on keeping that promise. I’m not losing you.”

Tears began to trickle down Gwendolyn’s cheeks. “How lost I would have been without you,” she said, “I don’t think I would have been able to do this on my own. I can’t even imagine what that would have been like.”

“Shhh…” Mildred hushed her. “Luckily, you won’t have to imagine that. I’m always going to be here. Not a force on earth can separate me from you. Not a force on earth can stop me from trying to find the most brilliant doctor that will cure you.” Gently, she brushed Gwendolyn’s tears away, profusely trying to blink away her own. No, she needed to be the strong one here. If only for Gwendolyn. “I’m not losing you.”

Gwendolyn smiled through her tears. “I love you so much, my darling.”

“I love you too.”

Eyes fluttering shut, she pressed her lips to Mildred’s in a soft, lingering kiss, fingers curling around her bicep in a possessive yet loving grip. Tenderly, she brushed her nose against Mildred’s, a gesture so soft that it made Mildred’s chest ache, heart overflowing with affection. 

For a moment, they just laid like that, head to head, nose to nose, silently enjoying one another’s company, listening to how their heartbeats, their breathing began to sync. 

Mildred kissed her once more on the lips after Gwendolyn stifled yet another yawn. “Try to sleep, my love,” she muttered as she extracted herself from the embrace, regretfully about to exchange the comfort of lying in Gwendolyn’s arms for the harsh, uncomforting guest bed. 

“Stay with me.” Gwendolyn whispered. “I just want you to hold me. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”

“Of course, honey,” She wrapped Gwendolyn in a protective embrace, lovingly kissing her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. “I will. I’ll hold you.”

Gwendolyn’s voice grew weaker as she began to sink into her slumber. “Will you talk to me until I fall asleep?”

Mildred smiled. “I will, I’ll tell you a story.”

And so, Mildred began to tell. A story of two women who loved each other dearly, who would do everything for one another. A bittersweet story of love, sickness, loyalty and finally— a story of healing and recovery, a story with the happiest of endings.


End file.
